Sewing Alone or Socially?

The reason Ariel and I joined together for Squaring Up was to create a community.  We were both contemplating our very first quilting projects and wanted somewhere to turn for advice, camaraderie, and inspiration.  We didn’t want it to be as vast and overwhelming as Pinterest or a message board, but we needed to be able to organize our thoughts effectively and still have some way to interact with the rest of the world.  As completely newbies to quilting, we didn’t want to go it alone, and the resources for face-to-face interaction didn’t exist.

At the risk of sounding like a freak, I was glad the face-to-face interaction wasn’t an option.  I’m not shy, and have no problem leading or speaking to strangers, but when it comes to hobbies, I’m a loner.  The virtual community we create, both inside and out of Squaring Up, gives me all the social interaction I need.

I’ve always been the type to be by myself (usually reading a magazine with a cat on my lap) and sewing has made me question this.  On one hand, I want people to read my blog(s) and I want to start a conversation.  It helps me validate what I’m doing as well as gives me a reason to keep creating.  On the other hand, I don’t want it to turn into giveaways and sponsored posts.  That creates a community of “what’s in it for me?”  I don’t enter a lot of giveaways and sponsored posts lose me as soon as I open the RSS window, because the author’s personality is normally completely lost within the reviews and contest rules.  I understand sometimes you need to just make a living, but I’d rather not see how the sausage is made.

I also struggle with my independence when I’m faced with a social activity.  I joined a chapter of the Modern Quilt Guild (MQG) when I lived in Maryland, and again when I moved here to Charlotte.  In Maryland it was exciting because I actually made a friend from it, and it was completely new--I attended the first meeting and helped make the decisions.  But we moved, such is life, and I’d heard great things about the Charlotte chapter.  I attended one meeting and decided it wasn’t for me.  The women were extremely nice--so welcoming and ready to help you out, which was amazing--but I was bored.  I was so bored throughout the meeting, I couldn’t justify paying the dues and dedicated a handful of precious hours each months so I could sit in a library room and be bored.  So I never returned.  I think it has something to do with being engrossed in the fabric and sewing world; I don’t want to idly chat about someone’s personal projects.  I want to go on and on about favorite lines and stores and “have you tried this?” and “I saw this method on...”  If I want to just view finished projects, I’ll go on Flickr.  That’s really mean but I have to be honest with myself.  That kind of group just isn’t for me right now.

I also sold my ticket to Sew South, a sewing retreat here in Charlotte.  I had purchased it in October, before we knew we were moving (actually, the day before my interview for my job here) and was looking forward to it until the class list and discussion board started coming together.  At that point, I realized this wasn’t going to be an excuse to sew for four days; these women were looking to make friends, to swap gifts, to come away with phone numbers and email addresses and friendship bracelets made from quilting cotton.  I didn’t want any of those things.  I just wanted a reason to take off a couple days of work and sew some dresses I’d had in the queue.  It wasn’t going to happen.  I became incredibly irritated anytime I saw anything related to the retreat, and decided it was time to give it up.  Someone who really wanted to go bought my ticket and I’m sure she’ll have a much better time than I ever could.

I’m not sure where this anti-social side of me stems from, because I really would love to have friends who sew, so we could get together and support each other.  But when it comes time to put these plans into action, anything that requires more facetime than a Flickr group or blog roll is too much for me.  I get overwhelmed and angry at people enjoying the event, and distance myself from groups so I can do a project on my own.  To be honest, there’s nowhere I’d rather be than in my sewing room, by myself, listening to music or a movie while everyone leaves me the hell alone.

I’d like to eventually get over this and go to Sewing Summit or QuiltCon or whatever.  I’d like to have more than just my mom and a couple girlfriends to exchange gifts with.  But I know myself and my priorities, and that just isn’t in the cards at this point.  Community is important to me, but I feel like this online community--bloggers, creators who are keeping sewing alive in 2013 and the age of Target and Forever 21--is enough for me right now.  As long as I keep putting myself and my projects out there, I should be okay.

Do you sew with a group or have friends who sew?  How do you balance personal time and group time?